Misadventures in the Kitchen

Anyone from Goucher might remember a Bon Appetit certain staff member by the name of Quincy. For those that don’t, I sincerely apologize you have missed out on the most epic cooking of your life. Back at Goucher, there is a dining hall called Stimson, that despite being a bit…odorous…hosted a brunch every weekend featuring an omelet station. Since graduating, I’ve come to miss the omelets and the friendly staff…but since I have eggs in my fridge and I was hungrier than usual this morning, I decided to try and make an omelet.

My trusty little Caloric stovetop, which is great at cooking,…but not so hot at showing the right time….It was 7 AM when this was taken…

So what I discovered in this process, is that Quincy of Bon Appetit is either a conjurer of fabulous omelets, or I am a terrible cook. So, the omelet I am used to seeing depart the omelet station looks something like this:

Image courtesy of Bon Appetit magazine, not to be confused by Bon Appetit dining services…but yea that’s essentially what I expected to make.

Upon starting, I hit my first bump in the road when I decided to actually taste the ‘salt’ and ‘pepper’ that had been left by the previous tenent:

I have no idea what ‘substitute’ Nu-Salt is, or what is in the ‘Perfect Pinch’

So since I’m a curious person, I actually tasted the ‘new salt’ and have come to the conclusion that whatever substitute is in there came straight from the depths of hell. After that, I opted out of tasting the ‘perfect pinch’ and found a few salt and pepper packets I’d snatched up from a diner a while back instead. As I set out to cook, I set the fan on my stove to ‘low’, and was instantly greeted with discontent shrieks from the smoke alarm. I grabbed the entire skillet, slammed the fan onto ‘high’, and hid the smoking mess under the hood fan until the shrieking stopped. What departed my skillet looked a bit more…well, sad:

It was delicious…but not hardly up to par.

Discoveries of the day?

  • I am either a terrible cook, or Quincy is a food magician

  • Setting the fan on ‘low’ isn’t sufficient to keep from setting off the smoke alarm

  • ‘Nu-Salt’ does not taste like salt and is putridly disgusting

  • I don’t know what is in the McCormick ‘Perfect Pinch’ spice shaker, and I’d rather not.

    Have any other recent grads (including non-Goucher) had any kitchen mishaps lately? Let me know in the comments!
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